Anarchy Reigns Delayed, massive shockwave of depression stuns internet

Crack your wishbones and buy some lottery tickets because today is a lucky day. This is because this may be the only post ever about up to date video game news.
You heard it here first people, Anarchy Reigns has been delayed. You can cry now, I'll wait.
This news should come as a surprise to just about no one considering the only thing we've seen about the game are those little character introduction trailers Platinum scattered into the public earlier this year.

Despite almost no information about the game, the hype for this game has been disappointingly low. Why doesn't the internet care more about this game? This isn't one of those setup questions that I ask now to answer later, I really don't know.
Anarchy Reigns is being developed by Platinum, these guys have a pedigree for awesomeness for goodness sake! The only game they made that can even be considered mediocre is just guilty of being grimdark and disliked by Yahtzee (a little repetitive too, but nobody would know that since five people bought Madworld). A competitive 3D brawler? NOBODY HAS DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE! In addition, Anarchy Reigns is being made by a company that ONLY MAKES AWESOME 3D BRAWLERS!
Get excited people! This is big! Right now this delay is seen as barely a fart in the ocean of video game news. This is a tragedy. Anarchy Reigns looks awesome dammit. Yes I am mad, that is all, you may return to your Skyrims and your Minecrafts now.

The Not Saya no Uta post

So originally this post was going to be about Saya no Uta. But I've kinda lost interest in doing a post about it recently. Once the official release comes out I'll reread it and do a post about it. Saya no Uta does some really interesting things that no other VN I have read even attempts and I really want to talk about, so a full post will come later. For now I'm just going to rant about some stuff that I really like.

Bastion- If you haven't played Bastion yet, go play it right now. While the game isn't perfect it does so many things right that it is impossible to not enjoy. The narrators voice sounds like Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood had a sexy cowboy baby. The background art is absolutely stunning and I bought the soundtrack immediately after finishing the game. Combat can be hit or miss and you get so many weapons that you will never have time to use them all. Other then that the game is borderline perfect. I am seriously thinking this is game of the year here. Plant it.

Sundome- A pure and innocent manga about a young couple and the joy of abstaining before marriage. Sundome really excels in its ability to swap tones between its humor and seriousness. The characters growth is handled with stellar precision so even the side characters feel like real people. The pacing can be a little slow at times, but it all leads up to a stellar finale. Also they get off by peeing on each other.

G-Senjou no Maou- While not at Saya no Uta levels, 'Maou' is a great read. A suspenseful page turner, 'Maou' is the story of the son of a Yakuza boss and his struggle between humanity and his lust for money and power. While being a Japanese visual novel, 'Maou' reads like an English paperback novel. Normally this would be a demeanor rather than a highlight, but I just couldn't keep the damn program closed. Some of the characters fall a little too well into anime archetypes (the genki girl imoto in particular) but it never detracts from the great writing. Some of the voice acting is great too, especially the best friend character who channels a young Wakamoto disturbingly well.

Fate/Zero- They must have pulled this anime straight out of my dreams. It is everything the Fate/Stay Night anime could have been and wasn't. Nasu fan or not, don't skip this one.

More target focused posts to come. I plan to update more frequently on winter break.

Gotta Move That Gear Up!

So remember back when I said I would update once a week? Well that kinda didn't happen. To make up for it, I've posted everything from my side blog on this website. I've also got a couple posts planned out that will be up soon. In short, cool stuff added, expect more updates.

This post will happen soon dammit

Backlog Review: Catherine

Catherine is owned by Atlus

I debated whether or not to review Catherine because it got a lot of coverage due to its sheer strangeness in combination with being developed by the Persona team. The game also sold very well considering what it is. Despite this, I feel obligated to touch on it due to its sheer uniqueness.

Catherine is a puzzle game about adult relationships. If that doesn't seem like the kind of thing you would like to play turn back now, it only gets worse from here. I should also mention that when I say adult relationships I mean marriage and commitment and maturity, not sex (though there is a healthy amount of that too). Still here? Good. Lets get into the nitty gritty.

Catherine stars Vincent, a typical average Joe in a steady relationship with his high school sweetheart Katherine (with a K). Katherine is pressuring Vincent to tie the knot, while Vincent is unsure due to a mix of fear and resistance to change. While getting drunk at the bar with his friends he runs into a girl named Catherine (with a C) who he has a drunken affair with. Meanwhile a string of mysterious deaths has afflicted the town, and Vincent starts having strange dreams, which is where the real gameplay comes in.

Most of the game takes place in Vincent's dreams, which consists of a block pushing puzzle. The rest of the game takes place in both the bar Vincent frequents, and lengthy cutscenes that change depending on Vincent's decisions in the rest of the game.

The block pushing part of the game is very entertaining and surprising deep. Solutions for the various puzzles are numerous and require serious noggin use to figure out. Some of these puzzles get agonizingly frustrating (I almost threw my controller during the clocktower stage) and take a lot of fun out the game. Sometimes I wish I could have just skipped the dream segments and seen the rest of the story. When a player wants to skip the actual game to watch a cutscene it doesn't exactly scream praise for the design of the game.

The bar bits of the game are a nice break up of the more intense block climbing segments. Vincent can talk to his fellow alcoholics and learn about their problems. Turns out a lot of them are having the same strange dreams as Vincent, I wonder why. Who Vincent talks to can change a good portion of the story, as many side tales are hidden with other characters. Another delightful side point to the bar is the random alcohol trivia that is given out whenever Vincent finishes a drink. These quickly became my favorite part of the bar scenes.

The story of Catherine is somewhat disorderly. Towards the beginning it tries to be a horror game, but it sort of fails due to the repetition of the levels. The story then focuses very heavily on Vincent's relationship to K/Catherine. After a while this focus gets downright tedious. Then, the story makes a 180 degree turn and pulls all sorts of strange stuff out of its ass. It leaves off being one of the strangest endings I've ever seen; not really satisfying, just strange.

Surprisingly, this isn't the strangest thing the game has to offer

Catherine in whole is a unique experience. Giving it an adjective like "great" doesn't really make a lot of sense in this case. If this is something that sounds appealing, check it out. Otherwise, steer clear. Don't worry, I won't think any less of you.

Backlog Review: Trenched

Owned by Double Fine and Microsoft

I have the biggest man crush on Tim Schafer. The guy is designing genius, and I have yet to play a game by him that I didn't like (despite my complete lack of ability at adventure games). He is also one of the only people that knows how to make a genuinely funny game without sacrificing all other aspects of gameplay.  Schafer's newest project, titled Trenched (or Iron Brigade apparently), keeps the high standard of Schafer quality.
Trenched is, at its core, a tower defense game with WWI giant robot mechs. Just the thought alone of paying for a tower defense game really turned me off to it. Why should I pay 15 dollars for a game that I can play on flash for free? Trenched solves this problem by offering many different ways to play the game in the form of different chassis. There are "engineering chassis" which focus on laying down as many towers as possible, allowing the player to sit in the back and watch the action like a pansy. For men, there are "assault chassis" which focus on bringing HUGE GUNS that shoot EXPLOSIONS!  Friends don't let friends use engineering chassis.

Using a gun smaller than this means you still wet your bed at night

The plot of Trenched revolves around two main characters, neither of which is playable. Both characters were fighting on the same side in an unnamed war, one an apple pie inhaling American family man, and the other a dirty communist. One day they were touched by a strange alien force that gave both of them incredible intelligence. The communist, being evil and all, created a race of television creatures to take over the world called the "broadcast" (continuing Schafer's ironic hated of television). The american created giant mechs to fight them. The player is a random solider fighting in one of these mechs.

Honestly as far as Schafer goes, the story is pretty weak. It doesn't have the depth to it that Psychonauts or Grim Fandango brings; it is also lacking in the comedy department when faced with his previous works. There are some great one liners and subtle jokes, but none of it is as memorable as the off the wall humor in Psychonauts or Brutal Legend. The best humor is found in the subtitles that barrage the screen 60's batman style, unfortunately  reading them all is a challenge, so most of it falls on deaf ears. As a whole the entire game felt dialogue-light, humorous or otherwise. Many times I was just wondering why there wasn't more noise, some levels even felt eerily silent.

The good news is that the gameplay WORKS. Big guns are fun to shoot and each level offers a unique challenge that forces one to think on their feet.  There are tons of different bad guys each with different abilities that may not devastate on their own, are cruel with certain other enemies.  There is a ton of cool stuff to unlock and play around with. The bosses are challenging and go far beyond the ol' shoot-him-in-the-glowy-bit mentality that dominates modern gaming.

Trenched is a overall a "good" game. It is not a classic like some of Schafer's other works, but it certainly is worth its price tag. Fans of Schafer or giant robots really can't go wrong with this one.

Backlog Review: Spelunky

Spelunky is owned by Mossmouth and Derek Yu

I watch my tiny adventurer descend down the passage.  My fingers tighten up and sweat starts to form on my brow.  I think to myself, "THIS time I will get it for sure..."  The game starts and I quickly analyze my surroundings.  A pit with a couple cavemen, A few snakes wandering about, and some gems down a deserted passageway. Not too bad.  I grab the gems and try to sneak up on the cavemen.  I leap down only to miss his head by a few pixels, crashing to the ground and stunning myself.  The caveman sees me and goes nuts crashing into me, reducing my precious life by another point, and stunning me again.  I manage to get up before the caveman turns around and make a flying leap off the nearest ledge, hoping for the best.  The screen scrolls down to reveal a spike pit directly below, but it is too late to avoid it. I land with a dull thud, my remaining life instantly extinguished.  I grunt in frustration and return to the title screen.  As I send my adventurer down into the pit I think to myself, "THIS time I will get it for sure..."
The Spelunky experience is a frustrating and addicting one.  You play as an Indiana Jones style adventurer searching a cave for treasure.  Each cave is randomly generated, so nothing is ever what you expect or hope it to be.  If you plan to play Spelunky, be prepared to die.  A lot.  Everything in this game wants to kill you or will kill you at the slightest provocation.  There are many one hit kills and ridiculously devilish traps just waiting to take a chunk out of your precious health.  Despite this, Spelunky is an utter blast to play.  You have just enough tools to make you think with every scenario.  Risk the snakes in order to get to a treasure chest or supply crate?  Or take the safe route straight to the exit?  It is an intense and rewarding experience that will always have you coming back for one more try. The difficulty curve might be a bit high for some, but I encourage all those who wish to play to stick with it.  Spelunky has been for the best platforming experiences I've ever had, and I can't wait to do it again when the game comes out on Xbox Live.

Backlog Review: Aquaria

Aquaria owned by bit blot

The problem with Steam is that so many great games get completely drowned out in sea of mediocre games.  When a truly great game gets released it is easy to miss it as it gets swept under the tide . Aquaria is the pearl at the bottom of the sea of uninspired shooters and banal puzzle games (expect a lot of ocean-related puns on this one).
Aquaria was developed by Bit Blot, a two person company of Alec Holowka and Derek Yu. The game was released in 2008 on PC computers.  This is the only game released by the developers so far and it is currently being ported to ipad.  A sequel has been hinted at but thus far no development has taken place.
Aquaria is a game about exploration.  There are powerups and bad guys and all that other great stuff that we play video games for, but at its core this game is about swimming to a new area and being taken aback by the beauty of it.  The style of the game is similar to that of a 90's screensaver of an aquarium.  despite that the game looks fantastic in motion.  The protagonist of Aquaria is some sort of human-fish hybrid that leaves her home in order to explore the ocean and recover her memories lost to plot convenient amnesia.  Gameplay can be done with a mouse only but I HIGHLY recommend plugging in a controller if you have one.
The game takes place under the ocean in a fantasy world filled with fish and bizarre creatures both hostile and tame.  Exploration is the main theme over combat and a good portion of the game is spent swimming around looking at all the pretty fish.  When combat is a priority the game handles flawlessly, just swimming in some of the more hostile zones can put you in serious danger of moving down a few rungs on the food chain. Each dungeon has its own feel and puzzles that are sure to challenge.  Some fish shoot enough lasers to make a Touhou blush.  The game is also paced extraordinarily well for an exploration game; just when there is nothing left to do in one area, a new area with a completely different style pops up.
Aquaria's weaknesses are few and far between.  In the introduction paragraph I hinted that the plot is not exactly what some would call "strong."  While the plot works enough to be watchable Aquaria won't be winning any awards for writing anytime soon.  Another problem is that the game plays great with a controller, the menu system becomes completely unnavigable without a mouse.  Changing forms requires street fighter-esque  inputs that can be absurdly sensitive.  Changing forms in a harrowing situation becomes a trial of patience.
Overall I cannot recommend this game enough.  Aquaria is everything I love about video games and more.  With the industry focusing on shooters truly great games of the platforming genre and few and far between.  Aquaria is a reminder that old-school gaming is far from dead.

REDLINE REVIEW

Going into Redline I didn't really know what to expect. I was crazy hyped to see it after watching all the trailers and previews not knowing what the actual product would be like. The main thing to know about Redline is that if you watch it expecting a very pretty movie, that is just what you will get.
Redline is about an illegal race in a sci-fi universe where cars are going out of style due to the new emergence of hovercars. There are also many different nations just recovering from intergalatic war, but none of that really matters. Redline is actually about cars driving fast and really cheesy romance. Nobody really cares about silly things like "plot" and "backstory" anyway when we have cars and large breasted women right? I admit, the cars and large breasted women look fantastic. The main thing this movie has going for it are gorgeous HD hand drawn animation. This is probably one of, if not the best, looking anime ever made. Look at this image, this is a screenshot from the movie, it is currently my wallpaper.
This is what the movie looks like ALL THE TIME. It is unreal how great it looks.

Looks aside I have some real problems with Redline. I mentioned before that overall the plot is shallow. This wouldn't really be a problem if the movie wasn't completely schizophrenic with the story. Characters that don't really need screentime are given copious amounts of it while really cool side characters get maybe thirty seconds of glory. In the end the whole thing feels lopsided, side plots are mentioned and then forgotten frequently. Entire characters that are supposed to be legitimate rivals to the main characters are sacrificed to the extend the vomit worthy hollywood romance. Another huge pimple on Redline's face is the ending, or really the lack thereof. The race ends, and the movie ends, that is it. No follow up or celebration party, just race over, bam, credits. The movie as a whole just feels (puts on sunglasses) rushed...

The real trick to enjoying Redline is just to turn your brain off and accept it as thinly veiled eye candy. Overall, it is a good movie, but it falls short of becoming the next anime classic.

How a Puzzle Game Saved Nintendo

Arguably one of the most surprising bits of video game news from the last few months has been the terrible initial sales and rushed price reduction of the 3DS. Most news sites are blaming the gimmicky 3D and the crop of eyesight destroying horror stories that have alienated the system from children. While true these are not the cause of bad sales. The cause of the bad sales is completely due to the lack of good games. This viewpoint is usually met with cries of, "but there are plenty of good games for the 3DS! Look at Zelda and Star Fox and Cave Story! Those are GREAT games!" The response being that those are not great games, those WERE great games. Ocarina of Time and Star Fox were great games 12 years ago. The 3DS has seen one of the biggest droughts of new titles since the introduction of the PS3. Which brings me to the main point of this article, the 3DS has no Meteos.

For those who don't know, Meteos is a relatively simple puzzle game released about halfway thorough 2005 (6 months after the release of the DS). The objective of the game being to line up identical blocks by dragging them vertically; which causes a rocket to attempt to push the blocks off the screen. I would be wasting breath by saying anything else about the game though, because if you bought a launch DS there is a great chance that this game is sitting proudly in your collection somewhere. Meteos was one of the first great original games to be released for the DS and was met with rave reviews and great sales for the time. The game was a unique use of the DS that filled in the gap between crappy launch titles and big name releases. It quickly faded into obscurity but played a major part in keeping people playing their DS. A feat that Nintendo was unable to do on their own.

So now the 3DS is here and it has no saving grace. Nobody has bought a 3DS because the only things to play on it are remakes and 300$ is a pretty steep price for a game you have already played. There has been nothing unique to the 3DS or the gaming community, the past 10 years have taught me to always bet on Nintendo but this time my faith is wavering.

Mirrors Edge Work

Let me make one thing absolutely straight. Mirror's Edge is one of the best new IPs of the decade hands down. It truly shames me how terribly this game was received in the market.

Back in the magical year that was 2008 EA kicked off their new campaign to attract gamers toward their products. It was called the "at least we aren't as evil as Activision" campaign and mostly consisted of bringing a plethora of new IPs for gamers to salivate over. Most notable being Dead Space and Mirror's Edge. They also rescued some popular ideas from the brink of death, such as Brutal Legend (a decision that I will forever love EA for). The initial trailer for Mirror's Edge blew my, and the collective game playing communities, socks right off. It was absurd to show a launch trailer composed entirely of in-game footage, especially when it looked this pretty. In a world filled with increasingly brown shooters Mirror's Edge dominated the screen with its simple palette of vivid contrast. This is what the Portal generation of shooters could create, and the future never looked brighter.

Then the game actually came out. It was greeted by mediocre reviews and a scathing review by Zero Punctuation (who is the source of more lost sales than any other reviewer on the market). The strange part is, the game delivered on everything promised on the original launch trailer and more but it was missing one key element, fun. No matter how revolutionizing Mirror's Edge was for first person movement or for visual design the fact remains that it was not a fun game. None of the elements that the game promised really fit together with the actual game. The promise of fast flowing non-gun orientated combat was bogged down by inescapable shootouts. The promise of intense muti-branching chase sequences was lost to slow puzzles with convoluted solutions. Don't even get me started on the Esurance style cutscenes. The game quickly drifted into bargain bins and obscurity alike and has not risen since.

Now in the sequel riddled brown world of 2010 we can really appreciate what this game was and what could have become of it. Before we complain about another Call of Duty or Resistance game or Nintendo making the same damn Mario game that they have been making for the past half decade remember the promise of Mirror's Edge. The promise of triple-A titles made by small development teams with unique ideas. Sure Mirror's Edge wasn't any fun, but it was unique. In an age where "fun" can be generated with specific formulas and sequels and remakes are considered "bold and inventive", isn't uniqueness what really matters?

Trailing Off

Video game trailers are a strange beast. No one really cares about them except for the most hardcore of gamers, and even then very few of them get seen. They aren't commercials, and the only people that care about them will look elsewhere for actual information about the game. Developers pour money into these trailers with seemingly no reason other then to generate pure unadulterated hype. While that is a reason enough on its own, I think that the real reason for the existence of video game trailers is due to the desire for the video game industry to mimic the movie industry.
The problem is that video games are not movies. Video games rarely have "scenes" that one can splice together to allow a customer to get the general feel of the product. Video games are based on gameplay that simply cannot be conveyed with a montage of footage. The worst offenders are the "cinematic" trailers that misrepresent the game while generating free press. Recently a trailer for the upcoming game Dead Island made a huge splash in the gaming community. I highly recommend checking it out. (due to my lack of blogging experience there will be a link to a youtube video instead of an embedded one, sorry)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ialZcLaI17Y

Impressive right? It is deep, well paced, and nails your pathos right in the gut. Dead Island is undoubtedly one of the best movie trailers to come out in the last few years.
As a video game trailer, it falls flat.
When I watch video game trailers I am looking to grasp what kind of game I will be playing, not what kind of movie or cutscene I will be watching. The game has the entire experience to sell me on the story but the trailer has one chance to sell me on the gameplay. So as a movie trailer Dead Island is beyond fantastic, but it only tells me two things as a video game trailer. First, somebody is making a zombie game. Second, the game will try to be sad. Nothing else was said about the game. We don't know what perspective it will be in, whether it will be turn-based or real time, or even what freakin' platform it is on. All we get is a sad zombie family.

Good video game trailers are much less noticed and much less flashy. A perfect example is the trailer for the upcoming game Batman: Arkham City

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V1ZF5cNYCs

This trailer isn't nearly as entertaining as the Dead Island one, but it reveals quite a bit about the game. The playstyle, similarities to the first game and characters are all shown in quick succession without the need for a boring developer video or the polish required for a full demo. On the other hand, my skepticism was well placed in the Dead Island scenario with the gameplay trailer revealing under the game's high production cost coating it is just an incredibly racist shoddy Left 4 Dead cash-in.

E3 2011 predictions

With arguably the largest video game conference in the world at our doorstep, I thought I would list some predictions for the next week.

Nintendo:
With the Project Cafe Nintendo hopes to appeal to its new found causal audience. The Cafe will utilize innovative new technology to introduce touch screen and application technology to allow a completely unseen angry birds experience. Launch titles include Angry Birds, Angry Birds 2, and Angry Birds Mario Galaxy.

Microsoft:
With the kinect remaining one Microsoft's most popular products, plans for the coming year will include revoultionary software to play on the kinect. Unfortionatly none of it will be very fun or work well, and the only exception still being Child of Eden.

Sony:
With Microsoft releasing Gears of War 3, Sony hopes to keep pace by releasing three new brown shooters with one being a brilliant new IP. Resistence 3: Dirt of the Chimera, Killzone 4: Desert Sun, and Blasted Earth: Mud Explosion. Sony also hopes sell more 3D tech with new improved glasses for the low price of 200$. After the disaster with the PS3 pricing Sony has a competitive price plan for the NGP starting at 400$.

Valve:
Valve unleashes a surprise announcement, it has been producing Left 4 Dead 3 under the name "Dead Island". No future plans involving Half-Life are revealed.

Sega:
The highly anticipated game Sonic Generations will introduce an exciting new character to the Sonic universe, Claws the rat. Claws will appeal to the teenage audience with the an edgy habit of consuming the intestines of his foes. No future plans for Jet Set Radio.

Capcom:
Capcom announces Resident Evil 6. The game will star an obscure character that no one cares about with exciting new plot developments involving the umbrella organization.

EA:
Mass Effect 3 will be kinect only. The world weeps.

A New Challenger Has Appeared!

What is this we have here? Is this a blog? Why yes it is!
After years of telling people that I will make a blog and years of procrastination, it is finally here! I, Judgegrumble, have decided to put my money where my mouth is and try my hand at this whole, "writing on a consistent basis" thing. It is a huge step forward for me and hopefully I can entertain some of you in the process.
As for content, this will be a video game and anime blog with an occasional pinch of traditional gaming. The content will be safe for work (for the most part) and will contain only the most classy of words (mostly). I hope to provide an insightful look into both worlds and bring the almost constant interaction of the two to light.
Right now this is not exactly the prettiest website. Expect to see massive changes to the blog layout as I discover how this wacky program works. I will post approximately once a week, but this is subject to change depending on how terribly I overbook myself.
As for introductions I think I am set! Everybody should visit often and get me lots of hits!